Why Release from Sexual Repression is so important to me?

One of my passions right now is to bring awareness to the importance of sexual healing and what that means.  For me, sexual healing is a lot about release from sexual shame and repression and its this very shame and repression that creates the very things we don’t want people to do.  Why do I care about this issue so much?  As an empath, I took on sexual shame around me and I have loved people who have repressed their sexuality.  Sexual repression has impacted me deeply throughout my life and I know that it effects how we all relate to one another and how we feel about ourselves.  I am aware of the paralysis, the insecurity and the limiting beliefs that come when we don’t make room for people to have sexual thoughts, fantasies or desires.  I perceive that the result of sexual repression creates much of the world’s struggles- abuse, neglect, codependency, depression…the list goes on.  Throughout time, it is clear to me that we have been misled into believing that blame and shame are the ways to change behaviors we don’t like; sexual repression is a result of this.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not perfect.  I struggled with this for a long time and I still do to some extent. 

A part of me does not want to believe that forgiveness, love and acceptance are the most healing and correct ways to end sexual repression.

But I believe it is.  Being blamed and shamed and suppressing my emotions did not make me a better person; it was something else. 

How about you?

Has anyone blaming or shaming you, truly helped you to resolve your inner conflicts, fears or desires? 

Through my experience, perspective and observation:

In order to end sexual repression, we must embrace our sexuality as a vehicle for consciousness.  We must be able to explore what is underneith our sexual thoughts, desires and fears, without judgment and with complete love, forgiveness and acceptance.  We must do so with the desire to learn and to grow.

Perhaps there was a time in history, some call it the Golden Age, where people were enlightening; they were wise, caring and loving.  No, sex was not their focus, nor their aim or goal of life; rather it was heart, love and consciousness.  For those whom were misled, confused or simply curious, people had compassion, capacity, tolerance and love. Instead of encouraging sexual suppression, sex and sexuality was honored for what it was.  People were given outlets to explore their fantasies, to accept their desires and fears as a tool for becoming more conscious.  Through this honoring, sex and sexuality was redeemed.  Sex and sexuality became a place to grow in consciousness, to cultivate our most vital energies, to build stamina, to embrace love and to celebrate our Oneness with the Divine in each other.  Neither a weapon, nor a threat, sex was a marriage, a caldron of friendship, healing, and merging.  For many, sex and sexuality was the well-spring from which all creativity flowed.

Emotionally Abusive Relationships


 

Many people are in emotionally abusive relationships.
They do not think that they can do better perhaps.  Or they feel stuck in the relationship because of finances or children may be…
Abusers are abusive out of habit, fear, shame and miseducation of how to be a human being..
This blog is for those who have been emotionally abused or are currently in an emotionally, abusive relationship.

First, being in an emotionally abusive relationship can be confusing.  What does it mean to be in an emotionally abusive relationship?

An emotionally abusive relationship is a relationship that uses verbal and/or nonverbal tactics to manipulate or corrode a person’s ability to see who they really are.

Who we all really are is love; their is a light at the end of every tunnel and it is the essence of our being.  Love is our inherent nature; it is wise, caring, forgiving and loving.  An emotionally abusive relationship is one that is full of limits.  Its the kind of relationship that makes us feel small, little, traumatized, helpless, dependent and wounded.

Many times, emotionally abusive relationships use both love and kindness; they reward behaviors that they themselves like or approve of.  However, at the flick of a switch, emotionally abusive relationships use fear tactics when the other does behavior that they don’t like or approve of.

Emotionally abusive relationships can be confusing because they can offer us as many good feeling emotions as they can ill feeling ones.  Many times, the emotional abusers appear as both a savior- the balm for our pain- as well as the potential impetus of our affliction.

Of course, given this definition of what it means to be in an emotionally-abusive relationship, one may feel ashamed or disheartened.

Very often, we find that the source of being emotionally abused is really inside ourselves.  We recognize that we may have instigated attacks made at ourselves and that we put other people down too; oftentimes, we weren’t even aware that we were being emotionally abusive with our excessive negativity, fear, doubt and worrisome thoughts and words.

As a kid growing us with narcissistic and insecure family members, I carried the burden of the judgmental thoughts, harsh words and the critical voice of emotional abusers around me for years.  I would never think of myself as being an emotional abuser; however I vaguely remember times of subtly putting people down, allowing negativity, fear, and self-doubt run-off and project onto other people.

But when I went away to college, I started to have new doors open up to me and I began loving myself.  I joined a rock-climbing club and surrounded myself with positive, empowering people who wanted to co-create a more loving, humane world together.

Now- this journey of Self-love is always a constant journey and I still get hard on myself sometimes.  Life is a continuous journey for sure!

But the voice of emotional abusers around me are no longer penetrable.

and I know it can be that way for you too.

Emotional abuse can be addicting…  Many people find themselves in such a dependent state that they can’t imagine their life getting any better without the emotional abuser.  Its as if the emotional abuser becomes a crutch for why life isn’t working, they become a excuse, a distraction, for why we can’t create or love people and ourselves.  (Because loving people and ourselves requires daily actions toward health and connection). 

There comes a day when we have to start looking at the kind of life we want and the kind of people who will help us to create it.

Taking and/or giving emotional abuse leads to set-back and doesn’t serve anyone.  Causing people to shame their desires, to doubt who they are (remember? love), and to not go for what they want, for example, makes it more difficult for all individuals involved to express their desires, learn, self-discover and create a life of self-honesty and trust.  Its a recipe for a unsatisfying, unhealthy, potentially co-dependent, and fear-based relationship.

Do you want to create a life you love or a life that society, the world, has dictated for you?

It starts by weeding out the emotional abusers and that includes the thoughts and beliefs in ourselves that attract emotional abusers to us.  Its also about filling ourselves up with healthy food, loving thoughts, Self-study, quality alone time, and positive people who are working on themselves- like you!

A life we can love is not only possible but its much more probable…when we filter out having emotionally abusive relationships in our lives.

I can be with your disappointment

I know you may not like it
but I can be with your disappointment of me

I can be with your disapproval, your cynicism, your judgment, your fear…
God alone takes these lies and stirs them into a concoction of good medicine
Your disappointment I can be with…
Compromise I can not any longer

Let me listen and do my best
I ask only for God to be in the picture…